How to manage nerves & self doubt.
I’ve been in your shoes, girl.
I wished I could do a shoot but I didn’t have the body. I thought that other women just knew how to be sexy & look sexy or that they are just lucky and got curves with no cellulite or stretch marks.
One day I accidentally ended up doing a couples boudoir session with my husband. I spent the whole day leading up to the shoot trying not to vomit, crying & telling my husband I can’t do it.
I had no strategy to cope with my anxiety around being naked.
I decided to just grit my teeth and bear it, drink vodka, and disassociate.
But to my surprise, it only took a few minutes for me to start having a shit load of fun. Literally wtf is happening right now?!
It was so liberating and freeing. I actually didn’t care about any of the things I was worried about before. Yeah, I have cellulite. What’s it to ya?
I thought it would feel like going to the beach.
You know, a nice day at the beach with the fam. Everyone around you seems to look perfect. Moms with 6 packs are throwing football with their sons. Super in shape people run near the water in front of you, hard as a rock.
And you sit in the sand and hope one of your kids doesn’t start drowning because then you’d have to thunder across the beach and every single wobbly bit of your body would flap & giggle the entire way and no one would notice your kid was drowning because everyone would be looking at how utterly disgusting your body is. I better hurry up and get more sand on myself to hide that.
I thought it would feel like that and I don’t want you to think it will feel like, because I would never ever let that happen. So without further adieu….
5 Tips to Survive Your First Boudoir Shoot Without Puking.
#1 Trust Me!
You’ve been in my group for a while and feel like you have gotten to know me and what kind of person I am.
You have looked at my work and you can see that none of my models are “perfect,” but their images are. Their true beauty is captured WITH their flaws. In fact, their “flaws” are what makes them beautiful.
You’ve read testimonials from my clients about how their life was changed because of boudoir and how they have seen themselves differently since their first shoot.
So, what the fuck are you waiting for? You don’t have to do anything except reach out.
I know how to make you look sexy. That’s MY JOB, not yours. Don’t take that away from me.
All you have to do is follow instructions. So trust the pro and just do it.
#2 Get out of your head
Thinking about it too much has a way of winding your head all up into a tizzy. Stop doing that. It is literally as simple as “I want to do this so I am going to do this.”
Close your eyes. Take a big deep breath in through your nose, filling your lungs all of the way up. Then slowly, breath all the way out. Your out breath should take longer than your in breath.
Say this outloud: I fully and completely love and accept myself.
You can repeat this over and over and use it every day in your life when you are feeling overwhelmed.
Think of your thoughts as clouds. They are way up there in the sky, slowly passing by, one after the other. Some are white, some are grey and some are very dark and ominous. But they don’t stop, they pass us by.
“Oh, there is pretty white cloud with pink on the edges. That’s pretty. That cloud over there looks angry. It’s nearly black and I can see the rain falling from it. That’s interesting.” And that cloud passes by as well. You don’t have to hang on to them and let them take over your head.
#3 Do it for YOU!
I am not doing this for your partner. Periodt. I am doing this for you.
I want you to do this for you too. If it helps you sleep better at night, then tell yourself it’s for your lover, but know deep down inside that this experience is yours and yours alone. You will come out of it feeling refreshed & confident in who you are and what you look like because YOU DESERVE TO FEEL THAT WAY.
Your body isn’t a gift to someone else. It belongs solely and completely to you.
Don’t get me wrong, your whole family will reap the benefits of you feeling empowered and confident. Your daughters will see a strong and empowered example. Your sons will see a woman who knows who she is and how to treat her with respect. And yes, of course your husband will LOVE the photos (if he doesn’t, then you need a divorce) but the best gift for him is a confident & empowered partner in life & intimacy.
#4 Look at my work.
If you are considering biting the bullet or you already bit it and your having second thoughts creep in, go look at the work on my site, Instagram or Facebook. Remind yourself that none of these women are models. These are all people you walk past at Walmart or sit a few rows behind at the movies. You might even know some of them.
Every body is different but we all have imperfections. Everyone gets butt acne. Most of us get cellulite and have stretch marks.
I promise you every single one of us has at least one thing we feel self conscious. EVERY ONE.
My work is designed to help you see yourself the way everyone else does. You deserve that.
#5 Say, FUCK IT!
Fuck it!
YOLO
Que Sera Sera
C’est la vie … I prefer “fuck it” but you can say whatever other seize the day type of saying you like.
Life is too dang short to be beating yourself up inside your head every day and avoiding doing the things that you want to do. Who cares what other people think?!
You want to do this. It doesn’t hurt anyone. It’s not illegal and if you choose a private session and don’t share your images, no one ever has to know you did it, though I do think you’ll at least be tempted to share them with others, maybe even the whole world.